citypractice.com

Sunday 22nd May 2005

Just back from lunch and I have recommitted to getting this site working as a blog after three years of not using it at all. I want to use it as a place where I can connect some thoughts and think aloud.

It’s been an interesting three years in good ways and bad ways. I am now an adult-orphan but previously I was an adult-child. I live alone in a nice neighbourhood but previously I lived together in a weird neighbourhood and then in a box in a no-neighbourhood.

I am taking advantage of my nice neighbourhood and I’ve just had a nice Italian breakfast made for me. Then I read the Sunday Times and then I bought some nice clothes. However, the morning did get me thinking that ‘nice’ can sometimes feel a little empty without a sprinkling of enthusiasm.

So I rate this as a good lifestyle morning and I am not sure whether to be cynical or grateful.

The town became historical today with a medieval market. I bought some chilli peppers and tomato plants – would the chilli add spice to my life? Would the tomato plants consent to connect me with nature?

This is insubstantial. From here I could go straight to some of the things that are worrying me.

For example two personal worries:

I worry that I have loved trusted and helped people who have then disappointed me, oh and yes I remember vice versa applies too and I’m sorry.

I worry about growing old alone.

A reassuring note:

On the other hand I live a safe secure and predictable life and for that I am lucky and grateful.

Lucky, grateful and worried about being complacent.

Then some general worries, for example: I’m worried that I can sit here safely and people such as riverbend in Iraq and the people she cares for can’t.

I'm worried that my friend has spent the weekend sorting out funeral arrangements for her dad and I that I am not doing enough.